Writing

Norma and Piper

How does Norma flirt around Penny? Same as the 2002 movie: aggressively fangirling over Piper!

I don’t even think Norma knows she’s flirting with Piper. It’s not like she’s even attracted to Piper. Piper’s so homely, and she’s Harriet’s friend. C'mon. Norma just admires her so much! Cuz Norma’s one of those boomers who thinks hard work = success, rather than success being mostly luck. And boy, Piper’s had all the cards stacked against her but she’s overcome everything from family death to poverty… maybe she could take care of Norma when she’s too old to function by herself…

and that’s how the CEO of Oscorp gets a little girl crush on a plain jane college student. Cuz she’s a cringe sapiosaxual.

Piper’s clueless too. I wonder why Ms. Osborn’s always asking to hire me? Why’s she putting me in her will before Harriet?

Both of them are clueless! They might finally realize there’s some lesbian tension between ‘em when they’re chasing each other around Manhattan dressed in bright spandex animal costumes. Good thing that confusing dramatic tension resolves when the Gobliness gets stabbed by her own glider!

Poor Harriet. Wish someone would pay attention to Harriet the way Norma showers attention on Piper :(

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Harriet’s gift.

In the 1990’s, Oscorp briefly toyed with being a weapons manufacturer, chemical supplier, AND toy company! Norma’s idea was quickly shut down by her board of directors, but not before she had a small Halloween line prototyped.

The Halloween line included:

A goblin plushie

Jack-o-lanterns that flashed and induced seizures

Wind-up frogs that heated up to 300 degrees fahrenheit

A mechanical witch broom with a retractable dagger in the tip

Flying metal bat shurikens

All the prototypes were deemed dangerous, especially the plushie that told kids to “kill their family”. (Norma thought that would be in the spirit of Hallow’s Eve). The prototypes were thrown away in the Oscorp vault and forgotten, never to cause danger to any children now or in the future!

The flying green madwoman you see in the skies of Manhattan nowadays has nothing to do with Oscorp, or any of its previous product lines. Please forward all inquiries to our social media team, and our community representatives will be glad to help.

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Misc. Headcanons

Norma

Norma is actually Norman’s goblinsona. And Norman is Norma’s goblinsona. I love when my dad is my mom is my goblin. Lucky Harriet!

The press and general public of New York are fascinated by the CEO’s past (from her looks, to her being a bad girl and dropping out of school), but I personally think it’s more of a novelty to see what she looked like when she was yung n’ smooth. She’s way more strangely-attractive to me in her older wrinkly phase :)

Harriet

Harriet was a test tube baby, part of Norma's many Oscorp experiments.

There are other Harrys out there, in tubes or thrown away.

Harriet was not breastfed cuz Norma was completely dry by the time she was born.

Thinking about that line when Harry insists MJ should wear black cuz “my dad loves black”. Of course Harriet would wanna wear black for momma too. Copied this current dress from MJ in the Thanksgiving scene. I imagine her fashion sense is a bit conservative to impress Norma, but she has a slight alt vibe cuz she’s an edgy college kid with a Mao cup lol.

In the comics/cartoons, Harry has nearly the same 360 waves as Norman, but Norman has a neat lil part in the center. So I’d translate that to Harriet having the same haircut as Norma (old hollywood glamour look that lana del rey would copy), just parted a different way so she’s has plausible deniability.

I base my Norman off Dafoe (A SHORT KING!!!), and Harry’s a good bit taller than Norman in the 2002 movie. So I’d like Harriet to be much taller than her momma, and a lil on the skinnier side too cuz of how thin Harry’s face in the comics/cartoons is.

Misc.

Piper is Korean-Chinese diaspora.

When Harriet passes away (picnic, goblin gas), Mrs. Osborn spends the night at Piper’s crappy one room apartment naked and crying. Nothing happens, and nothing will come out of it.

Piper continues her life as a broke college student. Mrs. Osborn is completely alone, in her burgundy mansion, surrounded by death masks and portraits of her deceased family.

Mia Morales is a regular zoomer in high school, who likes the Spider-Woman cartoons. Every day she has to walk to schoo and see cringe-ass millenial Piper try to smack cringe-ass boomer Norma’s ass. What a way to grow up…