Inside...
The Goblin's Hole

I like the idea of the Goblin as a separate mental entity from Norman, though it knows and shares all of his desires and feelings (as well as physical body!). Halfway between an an imaginary friend from his childhood and an alter, the Goblin represents so many things. Fears, desires, repressed femininity (why else would it dress in in a thong onesie with mascara?!), trauma, and EVERYONE’S FAVORITE: mental illness.

What does Norman have? Bipolar (manic depression), BPD, narcissism, psychopathy, and various other mood and psychotic disorders that add up to him being a great CEO who's terrible to his friends and family. DID is a great one to add on top of all that, especially if it's triggered after the trauma of his goblin formula trial failing.

Goblincest is basically a childhood friends to lovers dynamic! If that dynamic were severely effed up.

On the cutesy side, the Goblin is a caretaker that enables Norman’s submissive side. He doesn’t have to be in charge all the time, the Goblin will protect him and any business he has to do. I’m thinking of the scenes where Aunt May smacks him, or when he gets fired from Oscorp, or he realizes that Harry has over-dosed, and the Goblin immediately comes out to physically and emotionally guard Norman.

But it ain’t all roses!

Every other aspect of the Goblin/Norman relationship is textbook abuse.

Gaslight Norman into believing the Goblin is the only one who loves him.

Girlboss Norman into enacting the worst of his intrusive thoughts

Gatekeep Harry and Peter from getting close to Norman, so no one can take Norman away from Goblin!

The Goblin may genuinely think it has Norman’s best interests in mind (after all, it has no goals other than what Norman truly wants), but it just makes everything worse for him once the manic episode is over and Norman is awake. But you can’t just poof your mental illness away, ya know? You gotta live with it forever and manage it the best you can. There are various moments in the cartoons and comics in which Norman states, "I need you," to the Goblin during times of stress. It’s very seductive, to give yourself to the Goblin and no longer take responsibility for your actions.

Speaking of seduction. This pairing has so much ero potential. Y'all SEENT Norman crawling towards his femdom goblin in front of the fireplace? “TELL ME HOW!” He wants to get mommydommed after a long day at work pretending to care, dangit! Give in to your deepest desires NORMAN!!! Any art of them together is all in Norman's head -- there is no physical goblin pounding him up the butt, but he can sure imagine it while the Oscorp security cameras are capturing some very.. interesting footage of Norman jerking it into the mirror. A

Another side of Goblincest is straight up interuniverse selfcest! What about one universe's Goblin with another universe's Norman. Like the Spectacular cartoon's Norman, who does NOT have a separate Goblin personality and is actually just using Norman as a mask. Would that Norman perhaps take advantage of the other Norman's tenuous grasp on reality and tempt them to fall to their Goblin? Would that Norman treat the other's Goblins with contempt, because he sees them as weaker and out of control? Or would he join in the Goblins' merriment? Much to think about. In any case, I really like Norman as the bottom in 99% of circumstances, especially when Norman is a separate entity to the Goblin.

(This text has been edited from one of my tumblr posts).

Norman is just so hopelessly in love with nerdy lil' Petey. While Raimi insists it's a "fatherly crush", it seems very pseudo-incestuous on Raimi's end to make Norman so insistent and physical! He even drugs poor Peter to try and get him on his side... And I really love the end scene just before Norman perishes. Petey still calls Norman, "Mr. Osborn" as a sign of distance and respect... even after all the mayhem Norman's caused, Peter still cares to obey his final words of "Don't tell Harry", even taking his body back to his home for a proper burial...

My personal headcanons are that Norman has absolutely no friends because he's a gigantic asshole CEO who crushes everyone in his way and doesn't care for anyone's emotions, whether they're his workmates, employees, or his own damn son. As a result, when he meets Peter and Peter responds with admiration, Norman develops a complex thinking that Peter is the only other intellectual in this world who could possibly match him, understand him, or even bear him. This complex is multiplied a thousand-fold when it turns out they're both super-powered mutant freaks. Norman is a lonely MILF who needs a strong young man to take care of him, especially as he's aging into his Sims elder years and needs a successor. Harry is no use. But Harry's friend Peter... what a man!

While the Peter in the Raimi movies shows little-to-no interest in befriending Norman, I've mashed up some of the cartoons and comics Peters in my interpretation of Maguire's Peter Parker. My Peter is a lonely virgin nerd who has a weakness for redheads, whether it's MJ or Norman. And when your best friend's dad is one of THE most Milfiest of MILVES... how can you say no to seeing that hole? He's a bit too socially awkward to respond to Norman's advances, but when he's in the Spider costume his confidence grows as large as Norman's heart is shriveled like coal!

After No Way Home, Peter is the idiot that has to take care of Norman now that he's old and useless and depowered. Norman's son is dead, he has no company, he has nothing but Peter left. And for some stupid reason, Peter feels the need to make sure Norman is doing okay even after all the deaths and mental torment this man's done. Maybe they can have an apartment together, and Petey can sort 70 yr old man Norman's meds...

This is the forbidden yaoi of which legends speak of. A father and son's relationship perverted into a twisted parody of marriage? Disgusting! And it's one of the richest relationships in the entire Spider-Man universe! I have a soft spot for this pairing because it was my first ship after watching Spider-Man 2002 as a wee youngling. It was so tragic and amazing!

The canonical relationship between Harry and Norman (in pretty much every cartoon, comic, or movie) is full of obsession, abuse, love, and hatred. Norman hates Harry for his weakness, and Harry admires his father for his strength. Harry would defend his scumbag father over his own friends and romantic partners (Spider-man 2002 Thanksgiving scene), while Norman has literally sold Harry to Satan for a cornchip (Amazing Spider-Man #72).

Did you know? Harry missed his dad so much in the comics, that he created big titty robo-babe versions of Norman wearing thongs?

I see Harry as the victim of the biggest Oedipus/Elektra complex known to man. He will never get any form of affection from his father, not familial and absolutely not romantic. The love he craves from his father-idol is warped into a starved, unhealthy obsession. He'll will never satisfy or fill his hunger, and Norman's coldness will kill the Osborn family.

In some universes, Norman does love Harry in a deep corner of his coal heart. In the 60's-70's comics, he takes care of Harry during his many drug relapses, and he takes venegeance by killing Gwen Stacy (Amazing Spider-Man #121). In the Raimiverse, his last thoughts are of his son, his last words are "Don't tell Harry". In the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon, his password on his computer is "Harry". In later stories, that "love" is just part of Norman's manipulations to further his own agenda (Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, Dark Reign comics), under the guise of training Harry to become a MAN (aka his heir).

I enjoy both interpretations of genuine love and manipulation, but I do have a soft spot for Norman having human feelings and actually caring for Harry in the end. Just a little! As a treat! It's more than our lil' bacon head deserves. 🥓

As a result, my interpretation of this pairing is completely dry and platonic on Norman's part. He will not accept any of Harry's pleas for affection, and he will not initiate anything with Harry. NO SEX ALLOWED!!!!