SCOUTSPY SHRINE


red scout holding and kissing a blue spy head

DYNAMIX


REDscout/REDspy:
pure uwu. Amazing platonic potential post-Expiration Date. Never interacted much before the events, but afterwards Scout keeps dogging Spy. More teamups, though they don’t necessarily work well together (like Jungle Inferno, Spy abandoning Scout…). They grow to enjoy each other’s company and friendship. If it happens to turn romantic/sexual on Scout’s part, it’s because his crush on Miss P has seeped into some feelings for Spy. Simply because Spy was part of his failed date attempt, and he grew closer to Spy than Miss P because he works with Spy every day, as opposed to the rare opportunities Scout has to interact with Miss P. Scout never really gets to know Miss P, while he starts to become better friends with Spy. Spy resists and rejects Scout’s advances because Scout’s just an ugly lil boy to him. This is my default Scout/Spy AU.


REDscout/BLUspy:
extremely ero simply because the Decapitated BLU Spy Head exists. Crossfaction makes it xtra saucy. BLU Spy is a magnet for pain, abuse, and death. In a universe where Expiration Date never happened, and RED Scout never got to know Spy, RED Scout develops a fascination with the BLU Spy. Whether it’s through his head in Medic’s fridge, or from seeing sparse glimpses between cloaks and disguises on the battlefield. Spy resists Scout’s advances cuz he’s a heaux with standards. My student/teacher AU is this RED/BLU dynamic, because I crave conflict.


BLUscout/BLUspy:
a wonderful area of exploration! It could be a mirror of RED/RED, or slightly different accounting for Meet The Spy interactions between BLU Spy and the supposed BLU Scout. Or anything you can think of, because it’s really open-ended! I personally see it as a mirror to RED/RED, just different colors for their t-shirts. A cute exploration unique to this color code would be BLU Scout wondering where his Spy went, and finding Spy in the RED Medic’s fridge. THEN they become friends if Scout manages to bring back Spy and get him sewn back together.


BLUscout/REDspy:
the dangerzone. Dangerously Daddy! Even back in THA DAY this was considered psuedo-incestuous, just cuz RED Spy canonically fucks BLU Scout’s mom. A lot of friction and anger here, lots of potential hatred and confusion. This is the color pairing I deliberately avoid now for romantic/sexual ScoutSpy, though I admit it was my default SpyScout pairing when I was a kid. There’s still a lot of interesting conflict to explore between a young man and his utmost contempt for the older man who fucked his beloved single mother. Keep it as enemies, and it’s wonderful. Slide it towards freudian psuedo-psychology, and Scout wants to fuck up AND fuck the dude who fucked his mom through a revenge developed fascination? This def teeters on FORBIDDEN territory these dayz. A christmas carol.


HEADCANONZ (mainly RED team)


AGES:
Scout is 23-27 yrs old, the youngest in the team. Scout joined the mercs when he was 17.

Spy is 54+, and the 2nd oldest of the team next to Medic because my primate brain be like ‘hehe. old spy. almost old enough for ihop free pancakes senior discount. sexy’’. Spy was a ripe 44-48 when he joined the mercs as n aging man's last resort for money. This feeds into Spy’s avoidance and disrespect for Scout, because he knew Scout since he was so young and stupid. Scout has seemingly barely emotionally (or mentally) matured from his ten years in the mercs.

TIMELINE:
Expiration Date happened sometime earlier in Scout’s merc career, perhaps when he was 18-20? Because it seems odd to know a teammate for more than a couple years, but still be too timid to walk into his smoking room or ask him for advice. Yet some time must have passed for Spy and Scout to have the rapport that they do. Expiration Date is when Scout starts to feel a lil' funny about Spy, on account of all the fake dating stuff. Miss Pauling's kinda hard to get. At least he sees his co-worker Spy everyday... The in-game timeline is after Expiration Date and after they've become friends.

ON THA JOB:
They technically do the same job of reconnaissance, but Spy thinks he’s better and more experienced. Meanwhile, Scout is actually the one who does better at killing AND recon. Spy is getting old and fragile and all he really has left is his wits, while Scout is at his physical peak and could easily wrestle Spy down one-on-one. Scout is very, very good at killing people. He is also very good at learning the best ways to kill people. He is not a good boy with a misunderstood pure heart. He’s more like a beat dog that’s been told only to maim and kill his entire life. Not good, not entirely bad, mostly a victim of circumstances.

Still, Scout has to ask Spy to tutor him on certain things, especially when Scout first joined. Advice on their jobs, advice on girls, etc. He's eager to get closer to Spy, not necessarily friendship but even just annoying him, since the first day he joined the mercs. Spy immediately came off as standoffish and aloof, and the cold shoulder makes the pursuit so much more fun.

SPY'S FEELZ:
Spy’s contempt and snobbish demeanor towards Scout turns into that vaunted “fatherly concern” (thank you so much tf2wiki) for this idiot boy. That concern is buried deep within the layers of contempt and snobbishness that Spy puts forth. Perfectly DADZONED. Spy is still not overly protective of Scout. He’s fine with Scout dying. Or killing Scout himself if he needs to. He won’t hesitate, bitch.

A lot of Spy’s contempt (but also concern) comes from seeing himself in Scout. Especially when Spy was younger and dumber and stankier. They dynamic is selfcest, folks, not incest! Before Spy made it with limousines and private jets and ugly $10000 suits, he came from a similar grimy street background as Scout. The sort of conspicuous consumption he displays and brags about seems common in people who were once poor but come into welath.

Spy doesn't care enough to actively guide Scout, or he wants to hide the fact that he cares because it's embarassing. But he cares enough that he watches over Scout when Scout isn’t looking (thank you based Expiration Date).

Spy is not sexually or romantically attracted to Scout. He has his choice of men and women, why would he every choose Scout of all people? He slaps away all of Scout's romantic efforts.

ENDGAME:
The ideal Good End for Scout/Spy is Scout getting to stand next to Spy’s deathbed as Spy gasps his last breath dying in a hospital of old age or lung disease. No marriage, no established relationships. Just friends! Good enough friends that Spy trusts Scout with his non-Spy identity after the merc job is done and over. Spy continues to be someone Scout looks up to. Scout to Spy is…nothing exceptional. But he’s persistent, a dog that doesn’t forget his loyalties, and that’s enough to leave an impact.

WHY IS THIS BLOGH FULL OF (souprise) BUTTSEX AND H*NDHOLDING IF I DON’T THINK IT’S REALISTIC FOR THEM TO HAVE A ROMANTIC/SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THOUGH?? Iunno man, it’s fun to draw and indulgent. It’s all AU’s anyways!!! Man, my favorite fics are the ones where they get to k*ss and all that good gooey gay shit…

CUMCLUSION:
Scout and Spy have the most fleshed out relationship between the mercs, and the most screentime in the SFMs together. That’s what makes Scoutspy the most interesting for me whether it’s purely platonic or butt-touching. A lot to dig through and overanalyze in a funny videogame meant to sell pixel hats!

Word life, Scoutspy is the dankest thuganomics.


Fic Recs

spy tf2 in his reading room. Text on top reads: Scout/Spy Fic Rec List

LAST UPDATED: June 11th, 2021.


This list is always under construction! If you have any recommendations, whether you've found a fic or you've written one, I'd love to read it! My main language is English, but I will go through translators to read other langauges!
Email me at contact@scumsuck.com for recs!
Caveat: DO NOT SEND ME FIC OR ART OF SCOUT GETTING RAPED.


I've drawn fanart for some of these fics. Click on the images for a bigger (possible NSFW) version!


My tastes include:
+ aggressive virgin TOP SCOUT giving affection to an aloof and WAY OUT OF HIS LEAGUE spy.
+ when spy is nice to scout and cares about him.
+ when spy is kinda mean to scout in a sexy milfy way.
+ platonic friendship, abrasive rivalry
+ meandering character studies!
+ NO BUTTSEX cuz NO RECIPROCATION
+ kinky consensual handh*lding missionary for procreation if i am feeling saucy....



I don't like:
- spy taking advantage of scout
- noncon + incest dad spy
- daddy kink, dom-top spy
- do you notice a trend
(I CAN read dadspy, but it has to be really well written and/or psychologically driven for me to appreciate it.)


No shame to anyone who enjoys these subjects, they are simply not my cup of boba milk tea.


Despite my reputation as some insane necrophiliac kink monster, I'm actually quite vanilla normie in my tastes and just like a nice emotional story. I just sometimes like the characters to die and be mourned :)



IS FOR ME?

Stuff written for me, like commissions and gifts and trades?! Thank you!

cropped illustration of spy tf2 in a latex mask

"A Beginner's Guide to Blackmail" by TeratoMarty

CONTENT: NSFW, DUBCON, STUDENT/TEACHER AU
Based on my weed Scout n' sensei Spy, before I named them Ollie and Basile. It perfectly encapsulates how awkward Scout's attempts at "blackmail" and sex are, and how goddamn tired Spy is of being dicked around. It plays with their power dynamic in a fun way!


cropped illustration of spy tf2 maskless and sweating.  Scout is licking his leg.

"Beat Your Meat 'N' Greet" by Anonymous

CONTENT: NSFW, DUBCON, DUMPSTER SEX, FANBOY/IDOL AU
The continuation to Celebrity Fear (listed in the NSFW section!)
I requested that the author write more of this Scout and Spy (Thaddaus!), and it's AMAZING. I love the power difference between a fanboy and his idol, but the power flip just makes everything SUPER JUICY. The descriptions of Scout's disgusting physicality and actions are WONDERFUL in contrast to Spy tryna keep it cool (but depressed!).


Scout saying 'I am a woman, What a load!'

"L'risque" by DrRektor

CONTENT: NSFW, SCOUT IS A RAT BASTARD
Based on me n' DrRektor's discussions ON Scout's masturbatory habits :^) Very short, very pathetic Scout.


"Monzon" by Summersgone

CONTENT: Brief mention of sexual encounter.
Based on my Scout and Spy -- Ollie and Basile. I just love how moody and gloomy it is. And there's just TINY displays of affection that mean nothing but feel like everything. It's beautiful!


"Don't get ahead of yourself, you might regret it" by Mikiri_Tohoshima

CONTENT: DUBCON, DECAPITATION, BODY HORROR
is a Scout and BLU Spy head fic I requested, with the prompt "kidnapping".. you know what happens next. Warning for noncon.


SFW

No sex scenes. From Scout and Spy standing 5 ft apart because they're barely friends, to intense FRIENDSHIP and FEELINGS.

cropped illustration of bunny boy scout

"Epistolar" by Summersgone

A SUPERB Spanish-language fic exploring Scout and Spy's semi-abrasive, platonic (yet ambiguous) friendship in the battleground of an office rather than the desert. The characterization of Scout as an over-affectionate friend, and Spy as someone who's aware of these attempts to court friendship but attempts to push them away... that's TOTALLY chef's kiss.


"Lecho de Compasion" by Summersgone made me cry. Scout finds a baby bird and deals with taking care of it. The focus isn't exactly Scout and Spy's relationship, but it's a very fine character study of how they both deal with their issues in their own (similar yet different) ways.


"Pastoral" by Summersgone is a nice quickie fic with that good ol' grumpy Spy and buggy Scout interaction!


“Overhand, Underhand” by SugarMagic is a CLASSIC. Mostly SFW with some non-explicit sexual stuff that Scout gets up to. Nice long-ish read, SLOW BURN and fluffy n’ indulgent. And I can’t get over how it ends. Spy’s such a tease to Scout, much more flirtatious and reciprocal than I'd usually write him, and it's very satisfying. Scout pursues Spy and emotionally tops AND ends up being a protector of sorts to Spy huhuhuh.



NSFW

18+ only. These can include stories with sex scenes, or straight up PORNOGRAPHY starring your father.

blowjob comic spy in apron making food for scout and putting a prosthetic leg on scout scout with a prosthetic leg

“Saudade” by Banimal

CONTENT: NSFW, AMPUTATION, BLOWSJABS
One of my favorite Scout/Spy fics, it gives me what the kids call da feelz. It’s sweet and cute and I could talk about it all day. Spy in an apron, cooking and cleaning, is my motherfucking waifu. I talk big talk about Spy not caring for Scout and friendzoning him, but..BUT.... I love caring mommy Spy... I JUST NEED! LOVE AND AFFECTION!


cropped illustration of spy tf2 and scout having missionary procreation

“make me come alive (turn me on)” by anonymous

CONTENT: NSFW, TOP SPY, BOTTOM SCOUT, CATBOY KNOTTING
Porny-with-some-feelingz SpyScout. WITH CATBOYS. My god. It's bottom Scout, but you KNOW it must be good since I drew fanart of it! Scout goes after Spy and Spy is nice to Scout, and it's ok for Spy to top if he's some kinda monster. The writer knows how to get across painful fever feelings too well. And it’s really sweet at the end. D-d-don’t tell anyone but… I like Spy being nice to Scout and reassuring him…


"Celebrity Fear" by Anonymous. Excellent fappy-time Scout with a side of pathetique-ness, it's one-sided attraction with Spy having NO IDEA who Scout is, and Scout NEVER getting laid, which is absolutely perfect for me. Scout's a nasty greasy basement dwelling lad in this fic, and I can't help but feel called out...


"Act of Approach" by orphann_account is the Expiration Date AU we deserve. It's quite straightforward, and very satisfying. Cuz FINALLY. FINALLY!!! The homoerotic undertones of Spy asking Scout to seduce him are fufilled! Scout and Spy are very in character, and of course I love eager virgin Scout and tired seductress Spy.


“Depth Charge” by unicornsandbutane is a nice looooong smutty-with-feelingz TentaSpy/Scout. One of the few Tentaspy fics that got me to read to the end. Scout bottoms (to tentacles), but he pursues Spy (tentacles!) so it’s all good in the hood. The Scout dialogue in this is really entertaining, he’s such a dingus. I like Scout stealing Spy’s stuff and fapping in this fic, classic Scout.



OTHER:

Shorts, snippets, and non-romantic stuff.

"Like Father, Like Son" by DrScout is probably the most gut-wrenching fic Spy and Scout I've read. CW: gore, abuse, nonconsent, and I'd probably add nonsexual incest. It's not "shippy" in any romantic sense, there is no sex, and Spy is Scout's dad. But this is probably more emotionally torturous to me than any Spy/Scout fic tagged incest. The violation of body is akin to rape. This story made me upset without having literal incest and rape in it, so good job to it!!! It affected me so much that I wrote a whole twitter thread about it...


“Window Art” by Banimals. Very short, cute as fuk. The whole team compliments Scout’s art, and I believe this fic was written before Expiration Date when it's revealed that Scout likes to draw :,)


“Joyeux Noel” by babyblueavenger is a (gasp) SFW Spy & Scout christmas fluff. Not necessarily a pairing, but it’s a D*dspy that I accept cuz it’s super ambiguous. I just like Spy and Scout interacting man, I like dialogue between ‘em. Plus it’s a rather cute idea that Scout (from irish-american Boston) and Spy (from Catholic-dominated France) would accidentally meet at church. Content warning ambiguous DADSPY.


“Shopping with Spy and Scout” by sillyscrunchy. With HUFFFF Scout topping. Kinda. Another one with a tease ending. No matter what, Scout just can’t get his dick real wet, huh? I know Scout was bout to put it in though...


“Put Ur Fuckin Clothes Back On” by ElloMenoP. Ostensibly Scout wants to bottom, but hey he pursues and annoys Spy so it’s okey dokey. No-buttsex. Just fapping each other. The writing in this could be cleaned up a bit for clarity, but the core idea is very fun!